The Vampires of San Francisco

Jason: “What are you doing with the gun?”
Me: “Uh, carrying her on my shoulder.”
Jason: “…I don’t think you quite understand how big Vera actually is.”
Me: “I don’t think you quite understand how big I am!”
Jason: “It’s taller than you are and a hundred pounds if it’s an ounce! And that’s without ammunition!”
Me: “Oh yeah, ammunition…. Can we assume I grabbed my boxes of ammunition as well?”
Jason: “Well, what did you wrap those in? The cloth isn’t big enough to wrap a 50cal-BMG, two shotguns, and four boxes of bullets!”
Me: “Well they’re just plain ammunition boxes, so I probably just carried those.”
Jason: “With what?”
Me: “My hands!”
Jason: “You carry four ammunition boxes, two shotguns, and a 50-caliber machine gun with your hands?”
Me: “Potence!”
Jason: “No, I’m sorry, physically how do you do that?!”
Jim: “How many arms do you have? No, that’s a serious question, the amount tends to vary in this game.”

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Jason: “You see an armored Humvee and a bunch of soldiers. Two outside, one in the driver seat of the car, and one up top of the car with the machine gun. They’re probably around, oh, a dozen yards from you, but with Celerity many things are possible. Are you going to murder all of these men?”
Me: “Urg, I really shouldn’t….”

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Jason: “Roland was one of Charlemagne’s paladins. He died at the Pass of Roncevaux fighting the Saracens. With the aid of his magical sword.”
Me: “…Magical sword, you say? What kind of magical sword?”
Jason: “A sword that was indestructible and could cleave through mountains. The sword’s name was Durendal.”
Me: “…I’ve heard that name….”
Chris: “It was the name of my computer for many years.”
Jason: “It’s actually still the name of my computer.”
Chris: “Wow, you must have a very old computer.”
Jason: “No, I just really like Marathon 2.”

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Jim: “I want to play a Tzmitsce who is all about, like, free-range organic skin for his flesh-crafting.”
Me: “OMG, hipster Tzmitsce!”
Jim: “These flesh-chairs are locally-sourced!”
Me: “These skin-books are all fair-trade!”

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The dragon sneers. “I don’t know, leech, I don’t converse with many of your kind. Would you, knowing the rest of the Wyrm-begotten leeches in this city?”

Paul shrugs. “Some of them, maybe….”

(Jason: “Like Carlos!”
Jim: “Does Carlos have any Wyrm-taint?”
Me: “Carlos is the fucking fleshy-funbridge of Wyrm-taint.”)

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Jason: “So. Previously, Tom and Paul were in the basement of Cal Academy, and Tom had just been grabbed by an angry dragon.”
Me: “Yeah. I don’t know why, but, you know….”
Jason: “Yes. So the dragon has Tom, and I can see immense concern on your face, Chris, regarding that fact.”
Chris: “Well the dragon is also blocking the doorway…and, as much as I think Tom is a sociopath, and not really well balanced, and probably had a bad childhood given his various neuroses—“
Me: “His homosexuality had better not be one of them!!!”
Chris: “—he has saved me as often as he’s put me in danger. Often, he’s saved me after he’s put me in danger.”
Jason: “Colleen, no, homosexuality is not a neurosis, but the list of neuroses Tom does have is extremely long.”
Me: “…Well, Tom has a lot of personality traits in common with me, so…thanks for that?

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Me: “I’M FIGHTING A DRAGON!!!! WHY AM I FIGHTING A DRAGON!!?!?”
ChrisM: “I don’t know, but whatever happened, I’m pretty sure you got yourself into that mess.”

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