The Vampires of San Francisco

Jason: “Tom, Intelligence plus Computer.”
Me: “What? I know how to use my fucking phone!”
Chris: “After the sword incident we’re not entirely sure!”
Jason: “You’re trying to find a sunlight-generating virtual adept app that no-one is supposed to know about!
Me: “Urg, fine!” *rolls* “Um, botch…fuck…I get spyware don’t I?”)
Jason: “No…I’m trying to figure out what the worst possible thing is here…do we say that you lose your phone? Do we say that you find the app and set it off? Or…no. I think I know what you see…”
Me: “…Candy Crush?”

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Cameron: “You’re going straight to hell!”
Kara: “Aren’t I already in Hell?”
Cameron: “No, you’re in Diet Hell. Just one calorie, not damned enough!”

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Jason: “You go all Luis Suarez on this fucker.”
*I chuckle and nod. Everyone else stares.*
Jason: “…What? No one gets that?”
Julian: “I do.”
Jason: “Thank you, Julian, I’m glad we have cultured people here!”
Me: “I said yes!”
Jason: “You don’t count.”
Me: “….WHAT!? Because I’m not a person!?”
Chris: “Because you’re a woman.”
Jim: “You’re 3/5ths of a person.”
Julian: “She’s the wrong color to be 3/5ths of a person.”
Jason: “Have I mentioned that I know horrible people?”
Chris: “Because no one else would associate with you.”

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Chris: “Sharks on the beat! Sharks on the street! Beat Sharks! Street Sharks!”
Kara: “I was thinking that too!”
Jim: “Jawsome!”
Jason: “Alright, from now on, anyone who makes a Street Sharks reference gets an automatic negative-one penalty to their dice pool until I say otherwise!!”
Jim: “Okay, so it’s up to you now, Cameron.”
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Because what better way to celebrate Pride than spending the weekend writing about a gay vampire with AIDS contemplating the murder of the man who actually killed Harvey Milk?

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Chris: “…So she recognizes the English word ‘steak’?”
Me: “Well, dogs can recognize the word steak, and Aquilifer is at least as smart as a dog.”
Chris: “I’m not disputing the dog point, I just think the auditory systems of birds are probably different than that of dogs.”
Me: “Uhhh, they’re different, yeah, but they can still hear a wide spectrum of sounds. They have a coiled cochlea.“
Chris: “I’m not saying they can’t hear it, I’m saying their brain won’t do the same thing.”
Me: “It doesn’t matter what she perceives the stimulus as! Her brain will associate that stimulus signal with ‘steak’!”
Jason: “…I would just like to point out that we are arguing over the biology of a 800-year-old eagle that was ghouled by a 2,000 year-old vampire.”

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“When HITLER accuses you of not having a conscience, you might want to check yo’self.”

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